For a while, my sister worked as a gas meter reader for a gas company. She enjoyed being able to walk around all day, but the job wasn’t without its perils. Vicious dogs, irate homeowners… and bees. I found this dialogue saved as an old email draft, of all places. I suppose I jotted it down after Liza called me about a particularly harrowing day on the job…
me: Are you okay?
Liza: Sometimes this job sucks.
me: What happened?
Liza: Stop laughing!
me: I’m sorry. What happened.
Liza: Well, I was going to check a meter and all of a sudden all these BEES came out from nowhere. So I dropped everything and started running–it’s not funny!
me: I’m sorry. Continue.
Liza: One got me in the elbow and one got me in the back of my leg… It really hurts.
me: So how did–?
Liza: Okay, well I ran to my truck and shut the door and immediately started taking off my pants because there was one trapped in the back of my pant leg and all buzzing around in there. IT’S NOT FUNNY. It was really scary! But then I heard more buzzing and realized another had followed me in there, so I just jumped out of my truck with my pants around my ankles. And of COURSE there was a man driving down the road.
me: What did he do?
Liza: He just kinda smiled and waved. Ugh, so embarrassing.
me: It really is.
Liza: I’m glad you’re finding this so amusing.
me: I really am.
Liza: So then about ten minutes later I’m driving along and hear a “BzzZZzzz” right behind my head and I completely freaked out.
me: Another bee?
Liza: It was a very irate bee. I’m lucky I was on an empty road because I just go, OH SHIT!! and swung open the door. Thankfully, he flew out.
me: This sounds like the worst day ever.
Liza: Oh, this has happened before.
me: You’ve run down the street with your pants around your ankles before?
Liza: Well, no. I meant the bees. Shut up.