On discussing the impending nuptials of a friend, the following conversation ensues:

Pasco: So, she’s got a good job, a ring, and a husband.
me: Yep.
Pasco: And they’ve bought a house.
me: Yep.
Pasco: So, she has a life.
me: Yes. But Dad, I have a life, too.
Pasco: Yeah, but not much of one.
me: Dad! I have a nice place to live, good friends…
Pasco: You live with a cat and a dog.
me: I’m making ends meet. I like what I do. Life is good right now.
Pasco: Oh you think so?
me: Yes.
Pasco: You’re getting to an age where you need a husband.
me: We were sitting right here when you told me that when I was 15.
Pasco: Huh, well, it’s even more true now. What about that eHarmony?
me: Don’t even. 
Pasco: You know, that might work for you. It’s a technological age.
me: Dad. 
Pasco: You have any friends on eHarmony?
me: Dad.
Pasco: You know, in Asia, some people take out classifieds for husbands.
me: Dad. 
Pasco: What about our waiter? He’s pretty cute…
me: Dad.
Pasco: You want me to ask, “Would you date my daughter?” Ooh, he’s coming our way!
me: Dad. I will die. Desist.