Jack is sitting in time out and looking up defiantly at me. I am standing in the alpha pose, looking down at him with my arms crossed, and I’m just generally cross. Will is crying in the playroom, holding out a red little finger.
“Jack, why did you bite your brother?”
“Because he landed on me.”
“Jack, he did not mean to land on you; he fell down because y’all were playing too roughly. There is NEVER a good enough reason to bite your brother. You are going to have to find another way to deal with things when you get angry.”
“But I’m a T-Rex.”
“If you are playing T-Rex, you’re going to have to be a non-biting T-Rex. I don’t like it and neither do your brothers.”
“Jack bite me!” Will says pitifully in the background. “Need band-aid!”
“I am the BITINGEST T-Rex there is,” Jack says petulantly,”I might even bite you.”
“Yeah, well, do you know what happened to all the T-Rexes? They’re dead.” (Okay, so I lost my cool for a moment.)
Jack’s head is down but he looks up steadily at me, unfazed.
“There is one left,” he says calmly.
I am taken aback by his seriousness and try not to laugh.
“There’s one T-Rex left?”
He nods slowly, with certainty.
“There is one left. And he bites.”
What a survivor.