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roomie: Why does Maggie keep whining?
me: Maybe she needs it done again. 
roomie: I just did that before I gave her a bath the other day!
me: Well, I just took her out. She peed and pooped. I don’t know what else it could be. 
roomie: Hmm, maybe you’re right. *Snaps on a latex glove*
roomie: Maggieeee. Hewo pweshious. Do you need your anal glands popped? Yesh, I think you dooo. Come here and wet me get a good sqweeze.
roomie: Josie, do you want to see?
me: You’d better keep that shiz the hay away from me.