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Setting: Driving in my car, “Harold”, around Birmingham
People: Dermie, age 4, and myself

D: “Josie, do you have a house?” 
me: “I have an apartment, Dermie, don’t you remember visiting last week?”
D: “But why don’t you have a HOUSE?”
me: “Well. I can’t afford a house.”
D: “Do you want a house?”
me: “Yes, but I can’t afford one right now. Maybe someday I will have a house.”
D: “But aren’t you 23?”
me: “…Yes…”
D: “Haven’t you had 23 whole birthdays?”
me: “…Dermie, houses are expensive. I don’t have a real job, so I have no house, okay?”
D: “Oh…okay. Josie?”
me: “Hm.”
D: “You need to clean Harold.”
me: “I know.” 
D: “He’s really messy inside.”
me: “I know. Do you want to help me clean Harold today?”
D: “Oh my heavens, no. That’s a big job. I think you need to do it.”
me: “Well, thanks Dermie. I’ll try to get on that.”
D: “Josie?”
me: “What.”
D: “Are you going to go to heaven?”
me: “Uh…I sure hope so, why?” 
D: “I don’t want you to go to heaven.” 
me: “…Why is that?” 
D: “Because I want you to stay here with me.”
me: “Well, what about when you go to heaven? I will be left all alone.”
D: “I don’t want to go to heaven either.”
me: “Why not?”
D: “Because I want to stay here with you and mommy and daddy and Wii Mario Kart forever and EVER.”
me: “Oh….well, heaven is better than Mario Kart.”
D: “Better? Can you play Wii in heaven?”
me: “Err…well…”
D: “Can you play all the games you want over and over and over??”
me: “Well, heaven will be so great I don’t think you will care about Mario Kart.”
D: “Nope, I love playing Wii. I want to play it for always.”
me: “Well, in heaven you will have all the things that make you truly happy.”
D: “Then that must mean there’s Wii in heaven and I can play Mario Kart, and Wii Sport, and I can play them for more than an hour. Just forever and ever and EVER. Otherwise I’m not going.” 

 

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