Breakfast: 1 slice of leftover cheese pizza.

Lunch: 1 glass of milk + Carnation Instant Breakfast. Vitamins. Score. 

Work: 1 strawberry-kiwi slushy from Dairy Queen
             4 chocolate chip cookies. ish.

Drive home: Finish off a bag of Baked Sour Cream and Cheddar Lays discovered in car. 

Dinner: 1 box of cheese ravioli. With tomato sauce. Vegetable serving for the day. Bonus. 

Combine together then let steep in hot bathtub water at the end of the day. Hope the steam evaporates a few calories. Douse with immeasurable doses of revulsion and regret. Air out in front of episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Within 30 minutes of watching toned, skinny, coordinated bodies, self-disgust should be complete. Solemnly swear this is not a recipe to ever, ever be repeated. Ever.

Hope your words are not as empty as the calories silently adhering to your thighs.